Most of the time, we’re so busy that we’re on auto pilot, behaving how we always have without stopping and thinking about whether we’re on the right path or whether it’s even possible to make changes. This time of year is the perfect time to think about what’s going on in your life: whether you’re happy or not, and whether you want to try to make some changes. Rosh Hashanna gives us the opportunity to stop for a minute and consider how our lives are working out, and whether or not we’re where we have hoped to be.
Nevertheless, even with great determination, we often do not succeed in making those changes. We get off to a great start, but soon find ourselves slipping back into old patterns and feeling frustrated. As a Life Coach, I have had the pleasure of seeing many clients make real, lasting changes in their lives. You can make changes and grow. I have seen it many times! Doing Teshuva does not mean that we make changes for a few months and then go back to doing the same thing again. Doing true Teshuva means we make long-lasting, real changes. Coaching can help you to do true teshuva.
Hannah* was a mother of teens. She didn’t always handle them well. She found their mood swings very difficult to handle, and their rooms were a disaster. She regularly shouted at them, but they never took any notice. She worried that she was losing her relationship with them.
Every Chodesh Elul, she wrote down her plans for the following year in a notebook that she kept from year to year. She worked out what she wanted to work on for herself and for her relationships with her family. She picked up her notebook as Rosh Hashanna approached and read her previous goals. She was shocked to realize that she had written almost the same thing, year after year. She hadn’t changed. She felt very down on herself and demotivated. She had been so enthusiastic to make these changes, but it just never came into being. She realized she needed a little help, so she gave me a call.
In Life Coaching, we really delve into your goals so that you can pinpoint exactly what you want to change. We then come up with a plan to start working towards these goals. Working with Hannah was great, as she had already worked out her goals. She just needed a little help to actualize the changes.
Hannah worked out that her primary goal was to have a more positive relationship with her children. Through working together, she acknowledged that she had to let go of her frustration with some of their more annoying habits. She realized that by yelling at them, she was achieving the opposite of her desired goal, and that by focusing on their more pleasant qualities, she could have a more positive influence on them. When conflict arose, she began to stop and ask herself how she could walk away from it or approach it from a different angle. She trained herself not to yell automatically, but to stop just beforehand and think about how she could express her frustration without raising her voice. These small differences were the first small steps on a journey that got her more smiles and hugs from her children.
Want to make some real changes this year like Hannah did? Give me a call for a free first consultation today!
Call Helen Abelesz, Life Coach for Women, on 0544829815 or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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* not her real name and all identifying features have been changed