Helen Abelesz - Life Coach

When the Children Become Independent

Lisa* had just turned 50. Her youngest child was in high school and out most of the day. A stay-at-home mother for many years, she suddenly felt at a loss. On one hand, she was proud that her children were becoming independent and didn’t need her as much as before. On the other hand, she felt a void in her life. She didn’t know how to fill the hours in her day and began to feel insecure about her life.

Although Lisa started attending shiurim, going for walks and taking fitness classes, what she really wanted to do was rejoin the workforce. She wanted to contribute and help ease the financial burden on her family. She wanted to find a job but she didn’t know where to start. She had so many anxieties: Were her skills still needed? Did she really have something positive to contribute? Would she need to do some re-training? Would an employer even be interested in someone who had been out of the workforce for so many years?
Lisa became very anxious and didn’t know where to begin, so she gave me a call.

When Lisa first turned to me, she became quite tearful and felt somewhat lost. She realized that for so many years she hadn’t questioned where she was going and what she wanted in life. As soon as her first child was born, she knew exactly what her role was in life. Now that they had grown up and were independent, she needed to start thinking about herself and her own needs.
It was important for Lisa to realize that while she was experiencing the insecurity of a life change, it was also an incredible and exciting opportunity of self-discovery and fulfillment. We did exercises to help Lisa focus on what she wanted from this new opportunity and how she could set about achieving it. Lisa began to turn these challenges into positives in this new stage in life.

Lisa started to focus on what she enjoyed doing in order to try and figure out which area of work she wanted to go into. She also allowed herself to try new things that she had never had the time for before. She enrolled in a new class and she slowly began to rediscover herself.

A major stumbling block we had to overcome was her steady loss of confidence and the feeling that she was unemployable. We worked on tasks that allowed her to build up her self-esteem. Lisa began to acknowledge the skills and strengths that she had and recognized that she could be an asset to a potential employer. We then set research tasks for her–finding out what work was out there, what she would like to do, what employers were looking for and how she could approach them.

If you, like Lisa, feel like you have lost your confidence and would like to learn new tools in how to raise your self-esteem, give me a call for a free first consultation.

Contact Helen Abelesz, Life Coach for Women at 054-482-9815 or by e-mail at helenabelesz@gmail.com. Visit my Facebook page: Life-Coaching-for-Women. Get coaching tips, post your questions and join the discussion. You can message me privately to post anonymously on the page.

*not her real name and all identifying features have been changed.

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