I meet many amazing women through my work and in my life in general, and so many of them do not recognize their talents and abilities. They tend to play down their good points and focus on what they are not good at. Just as we would want our children to recognize their own strengths, so we need to work on ourselves and start to pay attention to what we are succeeding in.
Devorah*, a mother of four teenage children, had been focused on her children for much of the last 16 years. She had worked here and there in jobs which were convenient in terms of the hours and locality, so she could be home for the children after school. Her youngest was now coming home at 3 PM every day, and she finally had some time to think about herself and a possible career. She had no idea what kind of job she wanted, and the thought of putting herself out there was very intimidating.
On top of all this, her 13 year old daughter was having a hard time. She felt very bad about herself and had no confidence. Devorah felt very guilty about this, as she felt she wasn’t being a good role model for her daughter. She felt her daughter was copying how her mother felt about herself, so she gave me a call.
Devorah was very tearful and down on herself when we first met. We talked a lot about how whatever her daughter was going through was not all her fault. She needs to be there for her daughter and support her, and by working on herself and her own self-esteem, she will help herself and thereby help her daughter.
As I am a big fan of lists I asked her to write down all her skills and abilities. It was really hard for her to come up with many things. She had never really stopped and thought about what she was good at before. We worked for a while on confidence building activities, and Devorah slowly but surely started to feel better about herself. She definitely had her moments when she felt her confidence falter, but she was able to bounce back up much quicker now. She even felt that she was ready to start to look for a new job.
Her daughter began to notice how her mother was happier now, and asked her what had happened. Devorah was able to tell her daughter how she had been working on herself and taking note of everything she was succeeding in and good at, instead of focusing on things she found difficult. It allowed them to talk more openly about these issues, and Devorah felt good that she was showing her daughter that it is possible to change and feel better about yourself.
If you, like Devorah, are lacking in confidence and want to make a change then give me, Helen Abelesz, Life Coach, a call for a free first consultation on 054-482-9815 or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
*Not her real name and all identifying features have been changed.